Yeah I Know My Blogging Has Been Sporadic

I can't believe Lilah is already 13 months old. I can't believe how fast it has gone.... It's scary really to think about. So much has changed int he past year also. I'm back in school, for nursing this time. It's incredibly hard to go back to school, especially with a baby and a job. I don't know how some women do it. I mean I am so lucky to have my family there to help me. Lilah is walking and getting into everything. It's so amazing to see her see and understand everything. She's not saying too much but I figure once she learns I won't be able to keep her quiet so I can wait. I'm down with the flu right now, so trying to study to make up the tests I missed and the project that I missed also. Lilah is at church with my mom, but will be coming home shortly. Another day flying by.... faster than I would like!

Lilah's First Birthday Party and Bathtime!

Lilah had her first birthday party this week! Our friend Josh has a son Peyton who turned 1 this week. Lilah had a blast! Crawled all over the grass and played with the other babies to her hearts content. She was a lot taller than the birthday boy, but that's no surprise since she is my little giant :) We came home tired and grassy so bathtime was in order! Here are some pictures of my cutiepie!

The New and Improved Single-Mommyhood Blog!

Hey everybody....
It's been FOREVER! But since I'm getting the hang of this mommy business I'm transforming my blog into something a wee bit different. I'm going to be blogging about Lilah for the most part, things she's up to, into, and out of for those of you who are expecting I'll be donating and selling items too.
For a quick catch up, I'm working at Chili's in Peoria right now if you want to visit. I love it! I love my co-workers and my managers, but I also understand I will need a different career path soon. That is why I am applying to nursing school. I'll also keep you informed as to how that's going also!
Lilah is a REALLY active 9 month old right now. Her favorite things are stuffed animals and anything edible. She is crawling and pulling up on everything she can find and soon I just know she'll be running around and life will get even crazier! She still loves people and smiles at just about everyone she sees and loooooves the attention (go figure!) She hates naps and fights them to the death and loves stories before bedtime. She has 4 teeth now and is trying them out on everything, my fingers, shoulders, toys, food, dog, books, towels, you get the point!
We just had out first trip to the zoo so I thought I'd leave you with a picture of Lilah with some monkeys, because that's what she is lately, a little spider monkey!

I'm Tired of Waitressing

I am so tired of waiting tables. Reaaallllly tired of it. Long hours, unpredictable pay, and pushy people. Let me name some examples of things that drive me nuts on the job.
1. People who drink really fast. We are talking every time I look their drink is empty. And it's never water, it's always soda. I just want to tell them they don't need the calories and to get the damn drink themselves.
2. People who don't acknowledge you're there. "Hi welcome to Bar Louie!...." after my little greeting is over they just sit there and stare at their menu. Silently. Like I'm automated or something. I want to scream HELLLLLLOOOOO!
3. People who think of something they need every time you walk by. Like ranch. Like more ranch. Like different silverware. Like something different because they didn't like the food. You don't like fish and you ordered the fish tacos? Please! They are FISH TACOS its not just a name it is actually made from it!
4. People who tip 15% or less. No it is not enough. If your server is passable you tip 20% which is what the base tip is now. Tip more if the server is good, if you take up the table for a really long time, or if you complain a lot.
5. People who let their kids tear apart every sugar/sugar substitute packet and pour them on the table. Then let their kids pour their food on the floor or across the room or anywhere but in their mouth. Just because you don't have to pick it up doesn't mean it isn't rude! Kids should be taught manners in restaurants from the beginning. I understand a little mess, but we are talking mop worthy. Completely unnecessary!
6. People who talk to you like you are stupid. I'm serious here, just because we are waiting tables doesn't mean we are uneducated. Many of the people I work with have degrees. Some have masters! It's better money than a minimum wage position which is the only thing available in this crap economy right now. And some people actually love doing it!
7. People who ask how expensive the drinks are. Instantly you know they're cheap, you know they are going to leave you a tiny tip. Come on people, if the price isn't listed it's expensive. If you need to ask the price you can't afford it anyway.
8. People who complain about how long it takes to get their food. Look around you, if it's busy there are that many meals being cooked and it's not like we have a cook for every person there. We can only move so fast. On a second note, if you order your steak/burger well done.... you are going to wait. It's takes forever. And everyone knows you don't need to kill your meat twice. It's barely edible by the time it reaches well done.
9. People who get drunk and inappropriate. Like slapping you in the butt, hanging on you, refusing to leave until you give them your number and promise to go out with them. I'm serious it happens.
10. People who ask for chicken tenders. They are not on the menu! We don't have them! We have some amazing things to try, so experiment or go back home you hillbilly!

Halloween 2008.... Lilah's First Holiday!

I love shopping for Lilah. I think it's more fun than shopping for me... no I know it is. After careful deliberation (the lobster costume cost a LOT more than the pumpkin) Lilah's first Halloween costume was a pumpkin. It was adorable as you can see. She loved it actually, she really likes being hot so the fuzzy material worked out well. I took her out to my grandparents home in the little town I grew up in and greeted trick or treaters while getting ready to go meet up with friends of mine for our Halloween night out. Every time Lilah would move, her hood would fall and cover her face, which made the costume look even goofier. All in all it went well, I was able to go out with the girls on the town and Lilah's great grandparents babysat her overnight. The next day was gameday, so got to watch the Gators stomp the Dogs! Whoohoo! All in all a great weekend!

My Life is Officially Insane!

It's been a long time yet again since my last post. I have been dealing with a lot, some good some not, all pretty stressful. I guess becoming a single mommy is kind of like being baptized by fire. I am exhausted both physically and emotionally. This journey into motherhood is the hardest and yet the most exciting thing I've ever done. Every time I think I can handle it, something else comes up.... and I know I should just get used to it but it's still hard. I'm dealing with a little PPD, but I have a great chiropractor who understands my opinions on medicating and gave me a supplement that is all-natural and has been working wonders. I can definitely tell a difference in my moods and energy levels when I take it.

I don't want to sound like I'm only focusing on the bad things though, I love being a mommy! I love every time my daughter stares at me or looks for me when she hears my voice. I love the way she smiles and talks to me when we are playing together. I love the way her long monkey toes curl around my finger. I love the way her big belly and skinny long legs makes her look like a frog when she is naked in the bath. I love taking her places and showing her off. I love putting her to sleep on my chest and listening to her laugh in her sleep. I love everything about her.

Things that are hard? I hate not being able to make her feel better when her tummy hurts. I hate not being able to buy her everything she needs. I hate that I can't give her a daddy who is around all the time and loves her mommy. I hate not having a stable job and a place of my own to raise her in. But I know I can't change these things right now and am trying to focus on the things I can. I can do as much as I can to make sure she's happy and healthy and really that's all that matters in the end anyway.

So right now I'm looking for a better job with benefits and some encouragement. Let me know if you have either :)

She's Here!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it's been a little while since my last post, but things have been pretty crazy around here! I guess I should start from the beginning....
On Thursday Sept. 4, I developed severe toxemia and my Dr. wanted to immediately induce labor, so after waiting for my mom and sister to do their hair, no I am not joking, they took me to Proctor. They started me on the Pitocin drip to start contractions and gave me some great narcotics to help me sleep through the night. As soon as they shot my up I started giggling and telling my mom how wasted I was... hehehe... but it did help. They wanted me to rest and sleep through early labor in order to keep my blood pressure and stress levels as low as possible. The next morning however, I was only dilated to a 2 and things were getting much worse, higher blood pressure, lower platelet levels, pain in the liver and kidneys... the Dr. went ahead and ordered my epidural put in and broke my water. Well, things were still slow even after that! I didn't quite realize this at the time, but they were considering shipping me to the trauma unit at a neighboring hospital since my kidneys and liver were starting to shut down, risking seizures, stroke, or even death. Seriously. My parents were freaking out. The technical date of my older sisters death (although it was the Sat before Labor Day) is Sept. 5. And wouldn't you know, but I was going to have my baby on that day, when I got pregnant on her birthday. I don't believe in coincidence so all I can think is that God and Christa were telling me that they were going to transform that day for my family into something wonderful. Well, the afternoon rolled around of Sept. 5 and I was only dilated to a 5 after all this time. I was laying in my birthing room with my best friend Danelle while my Mom ran out to update the family and I started having horrible contractions almost on top of each other. I hadn't received active labor pain meds through the epidural yet because I was progressing so slowly, and I was really feeling these. When I asked the nurse to move me to try to relieve some of the pain, she decided to examine me. Good thing she did! I was fully dilated and ready to go! They frantically called the Dr. and he came to check me out. He thought he had a few minutes to see another patient downstairs so set everyone up to help me push and left. Apparently, he did not plan on the fact that I am a world class pusher. A few minutes later the nurse is yelling at him over the phone that he's going to miss the birth. He came running and after only 30 minutes of pushing Lilah Christine was born.
It was by far the most amazing experience of my life. I can tell you I owe it all to Danelle, for holding my hand and getting me through almost natural childbirth and for being the most amazing birth coach ever. To God for giving me peace through it and keeping me alive to enjoy my baby. To my family for helping so much in the following days while I have been recovering.
My life is truly amazing right now. I have lost all but 7 lbs of my pregnancy weight, she is sleeping for aroudn 3-4 hours at a time, which means so am I! I have great energy levels and great help from my Mom when I don't, and the most beautiful daughter in the world!
I am so happy to be a Mommy.... it's the best job ever!